Ambitions as a Writer

Since May 21st, there are so many things that have not left my mind or mouth yet. You see, on May 21st, I reconnected with the love of my life. The one man that’s changed my views on life in general. Because of his, I am here. I strongly believe that this man is my guardian angel. A year before we started talking, I met this guy, who now happens to be my ex. He tore every part of me apart. He messed with my mind, my feelings & most importantly, my heart, which I might add… he also tore into a million pieces. I spent 10 months trying to fix something that was never a whole to begin with. 10 months of wasted energy. I spent my entire day thinking about what I could possibly do to fix everything. I spent my nights trying all I could to make it work out. By the end of this relationship, I was mentally, physically & emotionally drained. Because of him, I gave up on everything. I gave up on love, on men, on people and on life. I started contemplating suicide a month or so before our supposed “one year” which would’ve been May 16th. Less than a week after May 16, 2010, the man who’s had a pretty impact on my life reconnected with me & slowly worked his way into my already broken heart & started fixing it from the start. A mess that my ex left, he willingly put all his time into mending. He told me he wasn’t like most guys. Although, he may be 5 months younger than me, he’s a lot more mature than the other guys I’ve dated. He’s been doing one hell of a job dealing with me for the past 4 months. He proved to me, within weeks, that he was here to stay. He proved to me that he wasn’t like the others. Instead of calling me “Sexy” or “Hot”, he used the word “Beautiful”. Instead of using cheesy pick up lines, he was graceful with his words. Instead of acting like a tough guy or even acting like someone he’s not, he was genuine from day one. He picked up all the broken pieces, the mess that was left & tossed away, he picked them all up, sat down & put them back together. He gave me a new perspective on life. Instead of contemplating my own death, I contemplate on what to do on our dates, I contemplate our future wedding day. 

Jason Thai, you are my everything. You mean the world to me. I do not know where I would be today, if you didn’t walk into my life that day. You are the one man that has extraordinary abilities for doing that you did. I admire you for all the time you put into so much of your precious time into fixing a mess that you never created. I admire you for putting up with someone like me. You put up with my ups & downs, my constant bitching & yelling. You put up with my terrible attitude & short temper. You accepted me, despite all of my flaws. You’ve looked past all my flaws & made me yours on July 10, 2010. Thank you for building my self- esteem back up by constantly reminding me that I’m beautiful in your eyes, ‘cause that’s all that matters. Thank you for putting my heart back together & holding onto it & for vowing that you’d do all you can to keep it safe & in one piece. Thank you for saving my life. Thank you for putting the colors back into my life. Thank you for saving me from myself. But most importantly, thank you so much for coming into my life & insisting on staying. I owe you the rest of my life.

This man is worth ALL of my time & effort. Even with our crazy fights, arguments & near break- ups, this is the man I want…. NEED to spend the rest of my life with.

[Dear whothefkisjason’s followers, sorry for the long blog on your dashboard. (x]